I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
