found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
