you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
