don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
