VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
