They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
