It's Friday. Sex?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
