apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
