You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
