Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
