I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I am one with the molecules
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
