You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
