then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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