Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
