Need sex. Gaining weight.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
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