Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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