How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
