Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
