i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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