areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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