In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
