She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
