Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
