So drunk its hurt
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
