I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
