And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Terrible idea I love it
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
