AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize