what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
