Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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