Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
