THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
