We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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