i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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