I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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