i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
