1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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