Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
