Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
