He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
