she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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