I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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