the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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