Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
