Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
