now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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