I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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