Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
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