That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
