Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
