Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
