My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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