And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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